9 Comments
Feb 15·edited Feb 15Liked by Kat Rosenfield

Yeah, I think a lot of people have both acted like assholes and been the recipients of asshole behavior in our dating histories. And re: what if women were subjected to the same scrutiny, I definitely remember a Facebook friend who was fire-and-brimstone about Al Franken on social media back in 2017 who had once years prior drunkenly pawed me in a bar w/o my consent (it's fine, I wasn't into her then or now, and I'm not traumatized by it but...definitely a double standard there).

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Feb 16Liked by Kat Rosenfield

A related phenomenon I have seen many times is the "hero" behavior a lot of guys get into when they stumble upon some whisper network intel. The number of dudes I have seen get bent out of shape and throw fists at some guy because some lady they talked to intimated some uncouth behavior is staggering. That's a game for the young for the most part, but there are many shit hole bars where that played out to disastrous consequence where I grew up.

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Crediting rumors or one-sided accounts of a relationship or sexual encounter also advantages people who are less inhibited and more dramatic. Think of a couple that has a nasty breakup: if one of the two people is inclined to litigate personal disputes on social media and in speaking with mutual friends, while the other treats these matters as private, you’ll never hear both sides of the story. Not only that, but you’re only hearing the account of the person who is more vindictive and/or more temperamentally inclined to air dirty laundry in public—traits that are not, in my experience, correlated with reliability.

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Love the picture at the top of the article. It looks perfect for a PG movie and will in no way give kids nightmares. 😛

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This is not the George Michael tribute I thought it was... but I will read it anyways. :)

Also: I see THIS is where you have been hiding your doodles I like so much. :)

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This is good:

“Women, as the radical notion goes, are people; we do not share one singular concept of what makes a man desirable or dull or creepy; one woman's red flag is another's red light special…”

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Great work as always, Kat. Have you ever written about this adjacent phenomenon? https://evanmarckatz.substack.com/p/why-are-we-dating-the-same-guy-groups

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Terrific as usual, Kat. But also as usual, the people who really need to hear it have dismissed it ahead of time. You’re preaching to the converted and the unconvertible.

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