Yeah, I think a lot of people have both acted like assholes and been the recipients of asshole behavior in our dating histories. And re: what if women were subjected to the same scrutiny, I definitely remember a Facebook friend who was fire-and-brimstone about Al Franken on social media back in 2017 who had once years prior drunkenly pawed me in a bar w/o my consent (it's fine, I wasn't into her then or now, and I'm not traumatized by it but...definitely a double standard there).
A related phenomenon I have seen many times is the "hero" behavior a lot of guys get into when they stumble upon some whisper network intel. The number of dudes I have seen get bent out of shape and throw fists at some guy because some lady they talked to intimated some uncouth behavior is staggering. That's a game for the young for the most part, but there are many shit hole bars where that played out to disastrous consequence where I grew up.
“Women, as the radical notion goes, are people; we do not share one singular concept of what makes a man desirable or dull or creepy; one woman's red flag is another's red light special…”
Terrific as usual, Kat. But also as usual, the people who really need to hear it have dismissed it ahead of time. You’re preaching to the converted and the unconvertible.
Yeah, I think a lot of people have both acted like assholes and been the recipients of asshole behavior in our dating histories. And re: what if women were subjected to the same scrutiny, I definitely remember a Facebook friend who was fire-and-brimstone about Al Franken on social media back in 2017 who had once years prior drunkenly pawed me in a bar w/o my consent (it's fine, I wasn't into her then or now, and I'm not traumatized by it but...definitely a double standard there).
A related phenomenon I have seen many times is the "hero" behavior a lot of guys get into when they stumble upon some whisper network intel. The number of dudes I have seen get bent out of shape and throw fists at some guy because some lady they talked to intimated some uncouth behavior is staggering. That's a game for the young for the most part, but there are many shit hole bars where that played out to disastrous consequence where I grew up.
This is good:
“Women, as the radical notion goes, are people; we do not share one singular concept of what makes a man desirable or dull or creepy; one woman's red flag is another's red light special…”
Love the picture at the top of the article. It looks perfect for a PG movie and will in no way give kids nightmares. 😛
This is not the George Michael tribute I thought it was... but I will read it anyways. :)
Also: I see THIS is where you have been hiding your doodles I like so much. :)
Great work as always, Kat. Have you ever written about this adjacent phenomenon? https://evanmarckatz.substack.com/p/why-are-we-dating-the-same-guy-groups
Ahh I feel like I’ve mentioned it in some essay or other (apart from linking it in this post) but can’t remember where! I agree it is not good
Loved it, thank you for voicing the forbidden 😀
Terrific as usual, Kat. But also as usual, the people who really need to hear it have dismissed it ahead of time. You’re preaching to the converted and the unconvertible.